"An Evil Scotsman" lyrics - BILLY CONNOLLY

If you're looking for trouble, you're in the right place
Don't look at me like that, or I'll headbutt your face
I'm a mean mother-fucker, I was born that way
And just because I wear a skirt, don't think I'm fucking gay...

Cos I'm an Evil Scotsman, and Jimmy is my name
I'm a sheep-shagger from Aberdeen and causing pain is my game...

Now if you're a woman, married or not
I'll take all your kit off, and I'll dive in your mott
I'll take your legs, and spread them wide
And then I'll put a wet-suit on and shag you from inside...

I'm an evil scotsman, and my name is Jock
And the girls are all gaggin' for a portion of my 10 inch cock

Yes I'm an Evil Scotsman and my name is Jock
I've got one hand in my pocket and I'm playing with my 10 inch cock

I don't care where you come from, if you're big or you're small
I've fought the best, and I've beat them all
If you're English or Irish, you won't have to die
But if you are a German you can kiss your arse goodbye...

I'm an Evil Scotsman, and Jock is my name
If you don't like the rules don't play the fucking game
Yes I'm an Evil Scotsman, my name is Jock
And the girls are just dying for a portion of my 10 inch cock

Fuckers
Wankers
Knob-Ends