"Earache My Eye (Conversation)" lyrics - CHEECH & CHONG

[Cheech (Father):] I SAID TURN THAT THING DOWN AND GET READY FOR SCHOOL!
[Chong (Son):] HEY! What're ya tryin' to do?! You ruined my record, man, I just bought it!
[Cheech:] I don't care what you just bought! You get your fanny-perpendicular and get ready for school!
[Chong:] I'm not going to school!
[Cheech:] What do you mean you're not going to school?!
[Chong:] Just what I said, I'm not going to school!
[Cheech:] And why not?!
[Chong:] Because I'm sick, that's why not!
[Cheech:] Sick... you're sick all right, what's wrong with you now, Prince Charming?
[Chong:] I got an earache.
[Cheech:] Earache my eye! How'd you like a buttache?! Now get your little fanny out of that bed and clean up this room, it looks like a pigsty. You hear me?!
[Chong makes pig noises]
[Cheech:] All right, that's enough! That's enough! You've pushed me far enough, young man, you're getting punished! Now stand up!
[Chong:] No!
[Cheech:] I said STAND UP!
[Pulls Chong's hair and Chong screams]
[Chong:] Hey, let go of my hair, man!
[Cheech:] Now, young man, I have talked to you, and talked to you, and talked to you until I'm blue in the face, and I'm done talking to you!
[Chong:] Good, does that mean you're done spitting on me, too?!
[Cheech:] Shut up, I'm not done talking to you! Now turn around and bend over!
[Chong:] Well, what're ya gonna do ya pervert?
[Cheech:] Pervert... why you snotty...
[Cheech chases Chong and Chong whimpers]
[Cheech:] Oh, shut up, I haven't even touched you yet! Now I want you to know that this is going to hurt you more than it's gonna hurt me!
[Cheech spanks Chong weakily]
[Chong:] Oh, wow, that didn't even hurt.
[Cheech:] Oh yeah!?
[Cheech spanks Chong weakily again]
[Chong:] Oh, wow, what're you trying to do, tickle me?
[Cheech:] Tickle you, yeah, I'll tickle you...
[Cheech spanks Chong hard, hurting him]
[Cheech:] Does that tickle, huh? How about another tickle? Come on, laugh it up, funny boy!
[Cheech finishes spanking Chong]
[Chong:] No more, no more, no more!
[Cheech:] All right, are you going to do what I tell you?
[Chong:] Yeah, yeah! (Whimpering)
[Cheech:] Are you going to talk back to me?
[Chong:] Yeah, yeah! (Going along with the lecture, doesn't realize what he said)
[Cheech:] WHAT?!
[Chong:] I mean, no, no, no...
[Cheech:] Good. Now you get your clothes on and get your little butt ready for school. Right now, do you understand?
[Chong:] (Faking a whimper) Yeah...
[Cheech:] All right.
[Cheech leaves the room and closes the door, Chong breathes a sigh of relief and turns on the music again]