"Silly Goofball Poems" lyrics - JULIANA HATFIELD

The Moose is a noble dolt
The Elk is a fool
The Rhinoceros is the biggest bore of them all
The Hippopatamus is a Giant River Pig
The Hyena is a striped dog who thought he was a laughing Horse
The Lion is a Queer Cat who by the power of his Queerness
Became a great Jowled Cat
The Tiger is a pure cat
The Panther hates cats
The Cheetah is a dog who thought he was a Fast Cat
The Giraffe is a Horse who grew fond of Tree-Top Leaves
The Snake has a body beautiful, and the Elephant is the Lord
The Hook & Curl of his trunk, the long-lashed Eye
The Sloth is a Chinese Poet upside down
The Ant-Eater is a long-nosed investigator of Villages
The Scorpion is a Sea-Spider trapped on land
The Whale is more so
The man is very strange

The Spider monkey is a little fool
The Pekinese Doll is a dog
The Dachshund is a snake full of love
The Siamese Cat is an Angry Monkey
The Woman is a cellular mesh of lies as well as a Scratcher
The Woman has a dark blossom betwwen her thighs
The Buddha is Known
The Messiah is Unborn
The Boll Weevil is a pants rotter
The ant a Warrior
The worm is a long history oozing out of Who?
Who!
Mu!
Wu!
The dog is a god
The dog is a balker
The Leopard is Incontinent, said Dante
Free from the Severity of Leopard
The Angel Rules the Jungle
Blake is Blake
The Cow has its own way with water
And the Tick sticks in your hair & swells
The Shark I never Saw
The purple ass baboon is Insane
The Sparrow is a little grey bird
The Chimpanzee is Wise
The American a Sniper
The Gull a bringer of Snail Shells
The Parrot I love
The snail knows the Unborn Void of Tao
And that's why he left his house for Gull
The Sea Bird is all Belly
Crows are Dawn Singers
The Bee hums busily
The Frog leaped out of Water
The Abominable Snowman is not abominable at all
He dosen't hurt anybody
The Rat has many theories
The Spider means money
The Fly has Seven Million brothers
The Seal is on my roof

The Goose goes north
The Robin wins the spring
The caterpillar waits
The Nightingale I have been
The mockingbird loves TV aerials
The Rabbit
The vulture trails the Puma
The wolf snaps the bear
The Lizard
The Eeel
The Octopus
The Tapeworm
The Finger
The Cock
The Germ
The Fingernail
The Wall

The Swordfish has a Beak of Wood
The Lobster is friendly
The flea leaps
The Cockroach is Reverenced
The Bedbug rolls