Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Everybody was stoned, even the mouse
Her from the whore house, me from the jail
I just settled down to get a piece of her tail
When all of a sudden, I heard such a clatter
I tripped on my dick and busted my bladder
I went downstairs and what did I see?
A fat little red faggot hanging from a tree
He stuffed the stockings with reefers and beer
And a big fat hairy dick for the family queer
That's the end of my story. Funny wasn't it, y'see?
One, two, three, four, Santa can suck my dick all day