Well, I was feelin' sad and feelin' blue,
I didn't know what in the world I was gonna do,
Them Communists they wus comin' around,
They wus in the air,
They wus on the ground.
They wouldn't gimme no peace. . .
So I run down most hurriedly
And joined up with the John Birch Society,
I got me a secret membership card
And started off a-walkin' down the road.
Yee-hoo, I'm a real John Bircher now!
Look out you Commies!
Now we all agree with Hitlers' views,
Although he killed six million Jews.
It don't matter too much that he was a Fascist,
At least you can't say he was a Communist!
That's to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria.
Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for them gol-darned Reds.
I got up in the mornin' 'n' looked under my bed,
Looked in the sink, behind the door,
Looked in the glove compartment of my car.
Couldn't find 'em . . .
I wus lookin' high an' low for them Reds everywhere,
I wus lookin' in the sink an' underneath the chair.
I looked way up my chimney hole,
I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
They got away . . .
Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat,
Figured they wus in my T.V. set.
Peeked behind the picture frame,
Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up in the brain.
Them Reds caused it!
I know they did . . . them hard-core ones.
Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,
Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes.
Followed some clues from my detective bag
And discovered they wus red stripes on the American flag!
That ol' Betty Ross . . .
Well, I investigated all the books in the library,
Ninety percent of 'em gotta be burned away.
I investigated all the people that I knowed,
Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go.
The other two percent are fellow Birchers . . . just like me.
Now Eisenhower, he's a Russian spy,
Lincoln, Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy.
To my knowledge there's just one man
That's really a true American: George Lincoln Rockwell.
I know for a fact he hates Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus.
Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straight
When I run outa things to investigate.
Couldn't imagine doin' anything else,
So now I'm sittin' home investigatin' myself!
Hope I don't find out anything . . . hmm, great God!
- Hard Times In New York Town
- He Was A Friend Of Mine
- Man On The Street
- No More Auction Block
- House Carpenter
- Talking Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues
- Let Me Die In My Footsteps
- Rambling, Gambling Willie
- Talkin' Hava Negeilah Blues
- Quit Your Low Down Ways
- Worried Blues
- Kingsport Town
- Walkin' Down The Line
- Walls Of Red Wing
- Paths Of Victory
- Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues
- Who Killed Davey Moore?
- Only A Hobo
- When The Ship Comes In
- The Times They Are A-Changin'
- Last Thoughts On Woody Guthrie
- Seven Curses
- Eternal Circle
- Suze (The Cough Song)
- Mama, You Been On My Mind
- Farewell Angelina
- Subterranean Homesick Blues
- If You Gotta Go, Go Now
- Sitting On A Barbed-Wire Fence
- Like A Rolling Stone
- It Takes A Lot To Laugh, It Takes A Train To Cry
- I'll Keep It With Mine
- She's Your Lover Now
- I Shall Be Released
- Santa Fe
- If Not For You
- Nobody 'Cept You
- Tangled Up In Blue
- Call Letter Blues
- Idiot Wind
- If You See Her, Say Hello
- Golden Loom
- Seven Days
- Ye Shall Be Changed
- Every Grain Of Sand
- You Changed My Life
- Need A Woman
- Someone's Got A Hold Of My Heart
- Tell Me
- Lord Protect My Child
- Foot Of Pride
- Blind Willie McTell
- When The Night Comes Falling From The Sky
- Series Of Dreams