[Conway:] Well you're the reason I'm ridin' around on big-capped tires
[Loretta:] And you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes outside on wires
[Chorus - both:]
And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
Oh but looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But I love you just the same
[Conway:] Well you're the reason I changed to beer from soda pop
[Loretta:] And you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop
[Both:] I guess that we won't ever have, everything we need
'Cause when we get ahead, it's got a double mouth to feed
[Loretta:] And that's the reason my good looks, and my figure is gone
[Conway:] And that's the reason that I ain't got no hair to comb
[Loretta (speaking):] Conway, why in the devil don't you go and shave,
Or put on clean pair of pants?
[Conway (speaking):] But Loretta, look at yourself. I wish you'd take
Them curlers outta your hair and go put on a little
Make-up and get outta that housecoat before supper.
[Loretta:] Well let me tell you somethin' Conway. Considering everything that
I went through today, I look like a movie star.
[Conway:] Yeah, Ruth Buzzley.
[Loretta:] Thank you.
[Conway:] Besides that, all of our kids took after your part of the family anyways.
[Loretta:] Oh they did, hunh? What about the ones that's bald?
[Conway:] Well I guess you could say they took after me.