"Moe" lyrics - DAVID WILCOX

Back in Brooklyn when I was ten
As if to prove that we were men
My friends and I would trash each other's families
We were morons, I know that now
I let them call my mom a cow
But somehow that measured my virility

But one day they threw a curve
They struck a raw nerve
And found the shameful secret I had kept
But I took it like a man
I stood my stand
And then I wept

'Cos when your father looks like Moe
You know, the guy from the three stooges
Life can be so cruel
At school I was a sitting duck
Behind my back I heard 'nyuk, nyuk'
And if that wasn't bad enough
Sometimes they'd bop my nose
To look at me you might believe
More likely my father looked like Curly
But no
He looked like Moe

I asked my father straight-out one day
Why he chose to look that way
His shiny jet-black hair cut like an eskimo
And though I'd hoped his reply might be
Some father-son philosophy
All he said to me was 'who the heck is Moe'
And I said 'Dad, it's me they tease
I'm begging you please
Could you wear your hair more normally'
And we stood there eye to eye
Guy to guy
And he said "soytainly"

Cos when your father looks like Moe
You know, the guy from the three stooges
Life can be so cruel
But he marched off to the barber chair
And kept his word, he cut his hair
And you would think that then and there
I'd have been content
But damned if that was not the year
They signed up a replacement in the lineup
And so it went
My father looked like Shemp