"The Boy Named If" lyrics - ELVIS COSTELLO

I'm a lucky so and so
A fortunate stiff
You said you'd never knew me but I'm the one you want to be with
If I tumble from a tightrope or leap from a cliff
I won't be dashed to pieces
I'm the boy named If

If I disappear and I slipper from your view
I just step upon a crack and I won't come back
Imagine me
And I'll imagine you too

In a hollow of the bed sheet
Or a picture in a frame
I'm vivid as a summer's day
Then never seen again

Who'll pay the taxman?
Who'll place the blame?
Who'll point into an empty room
And whisper my name?

If I disappear and I slipper from your view
You will step upon a crack and I won't come back
Imagine me
And I'll imagine you too

Take my hand
We'll go to "Magic Lantern Land"
Take my hand
See the pictures they've projected

Take my hand
We'll fill our pockets up with sand
Dance in frantic passes
Till the grains all turn to glasses

Drums begin to navigate, the band strikes up a riff
No one will believe you but the boy named If

Who'll pay your entrance fee?
Who'll leave a tip?
Who'll say, "Listen here, Sunshine
Don't you give me no lip"

Who broke your favourite heart?
Who stops and never starts?
Who kiss you stupid?
It must be something you did
Who'll keep you satisfied after a lover's tiff?
It must be some other guy not the boy named If

If I disappear and I slipper from your view
You will step upon a crack and I won't come back
Imagine me
And I'll imagine you too

Take my hand
We'll go to "Magic Lantern Land"
Take my hand
See the pictures we've projected

Take my hand
We'll fill our pockets up with sand
Dance in frantic passes
Till the grains all turn to glasses