"Porn Wars" lyrics - FRANK ZAPPA

[FZ synclavier]

[Voices from the Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation
September 19, 1985

Senator Danforth (R-Missouri)
Senator Hollings (D-South Carolina)
Senator Trible (R-Virginia)
Senator Hawkins (R-Florida)
Senator Exon (D-Nebraska)
Senator Gorton (R-Washington)
Senator Gore (D-Tennessee)
Tipper Gore
Reverend Jeff Ling
FZ

Thing-Fish section (including some dialog from Galoot Up-Date) from UMRK
c. 1982-83

Ike Willis Thing-Fish voice, rhythm guitar?
Steve Vai guitar
FZ rhythm guitar?
Tommy Mars keyboards
Arthur Barrow bass
Chad Wackerman drums

Piano people voices from Apostolic Studios, NYC
October, 1967

Spider Barbour voice
All-Night John Kilgore voice
Monica voice]

Chairman (John Danforth): The reason for this hearing is not to promote any legislation. Indeed, I don't know of any suggestion that any legislation be passed. But to simply provide a forum for airing the issue itself, for ventilating the issue, for bringing it out in the public domain. Senator Hollings.

Senator Hollings: I've had the opportunity to, ah, attend a, a showing, you might say, or presentation of, ah, this porn rock, as they call it. In the test of pornography, one of the things to look at is it, it does not have any redeeming social value. Ah, there could be an exception here, because having attended that pres, presentation, the redeeming social value I find that is inaudible. I have a hard time understanding it, then. Paul, since I traveled the country for 3 years, 'n they said they could not understand me. Maybe I could make a good rock star. I don't know. Heh . . . But in all candor, I would tell you it's, it's outrageous filth. So, I'll be looking from this Senator's standpoint, not just to bring pressures but to try to see if there is some constitutional provisions to tax, or approach that can be used on the Congress to limit this outrageous filth.

Chairman: Senator Trible.

Senator Trible: Rape, incest, sexual violence . . .
Senator Hollings: It's outrageous filth . . .
Senator Trible: Is like sandpaper to the soul . . . Now, the effects of such lyrics on a well adjusted child may not be cataclysmic
Senator Hollings: It's outrageous filth!
Senator Trible: Rather the emotional damage is more subtle
Senator Hawkins: Fire and chains and . . .
Senator Hollings: It's outrageous filth!
Senator Hawkins: Other . . . objectionable . . . tools of gratification in some twisted mind . . .
Johnny Guitar Watson: YEAH!
Senator Trible: Now, the effects of such lyrics on a well adjusted child may not be cataclysmic . . .
Senator Hollings: Porn Rock . . .
Senator Trible: Rather the emotional damage is more subtle
Senator Hollings: Willy nilly over the air
?: (And hear it now . . . hear it . . . hear it . . . )
Senator Hollings: If I could find some way constitutionally to do away with it, I would.
Senator Hawkins: Fire and chains and . . . other . . . objectionable . . .
Senator Hollings: Rock porn
Senator Hawkins: Tools of gratification in some twisted mind . . .
Johnny Guitar Watson: YEAH!
Senator Trible: Now, the effects of such lyrics on a well adjusted child may not be cataclysmic . . .
Senator Hollings: Porn rock!
Senator Trible: Now, the effects of such lyrics on a well adjusted child may not be cataclysmic . . .
Senator Hollings: Porn rock!
Senator Trible: Rather the emotional damage . . .
Senator Hollings: If I could find some way constitutionally to do away with it, I would.
Senator Hawkins: This issue is too hot not to cool down
Senator Trible: Now, the effects of such lyrics on a well adjusted child may not be cataclysmic . . .
Senator Trible: Rather the emotional damage is more subtle
Senator Hollings: Porn Rock
Senator Hollings: Porn Rock
Senator Hollings: Porn Rock . . .
Burn! Burn . . . !
Senator Hollings: Willy nilly over the air
Senator Hollings: Willy nilly over the air
Senator Hollings: Willy nilly over the air
Senator Hollings: Rock porn . . . rock porn . . . rock porn . . .
Senator Hawkins: This issue is too hot not to cool down
Senator Hawkins: Fire and chains and . . . other . . . objectionable . . . tools of gratification in some twisted mind . . .
Senator Hawkins: This issue is too hot not to cool down
Senator Hollings: Porn Rock
Senator Hollings: Porn Rock!
Senator Hollings: Porn Rock
Senator Hollings: Porn Rock!
Senator Hawkins: This issue is too . . .

Spider: This must be the end of the world! All the people turning into pigs and ponies . . . I can't let it happen to me!

Senator Exon: What is the reason for these hearings in front of the Commerce Committee?
FZ: Sex!
Well . . .
FZ: Sex!
Senator Hawkins: Thank you. I think that statement tells the story to this committee.
Rev. Jeff Ling: "Listen you little slut, do as you are told"
Senator Exon: What is the reason . . .
FZ: Sex!
Senator Exon: For these hearings in front of the Commerce Committee?
FZ: Sex!
Underwear
FZ: Bondage!
Rev. Jeff Ling: Listen you little slut
Rev. Jeff Ling: Listen you little slut, do as you are told
FZ: Sex, and lots of it
Rev. Jeff Ling: Fixed her good.
FZ: Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex! . . .

Senator Hawkins: I would be interested to see what toys your kids ever had.
FZ: Why would you be interested?
Senator Hawkins: Just as a point of interest in this . . .
FZ: Well, come on over to the house. I'll show 'em to you . . . Really!
Senator Hawkins: I . . . I might do that.

Senator Trible: Rape, incest, sexual violence . . . is like sandpaper to the soul . . .
Senator Trible: Now, the effects of such lyrics on a well adjusted child may not be cataclysmic
Senator Hollings: It's outrageous filth!
Senator Trible: Rather the emotional damage is more subtle
Senator Hawkins: Fire and chains and . . . other
Senator Hollings: It's outrageous filth!
Senator Hawkins: Objectionable . . . tools of gratification in some twisted minds . . .
Johnny Guitar Watson: YEAH!
Senator Trible: Now the effects of such lyrics on a well adjusted child may not be cataclysmic . . .
Senator Hollings: Porn rock
Senator Hollings: Willy nilly over the air
Senator Trible: Rather the emotional damage is more subtle
Senator Hawkins: Fire and chains and . . . other
Senator Hollings: If I could find some way constitutionally to do away with it, I would.
Senator Hawkins: Objectionable . . . tools of gratification in some twisted minds . . .
Senator Trible: Now the effects of such lyrics on a well adjusted child may not be cataclysmic . . .
Johnny Guitar Watson: YEAH!
Senator Hollings: Something that we have got to give some kind of attention to.
Senator Trible: The mere announcement of this hearing led to cries of censorship.
Senator Trible: Now the effects of such lyrics on a well adjusted child may not be cataclysmic . . .
Senator Hollings: Porn Rock
Senator Trible: Now the effects of such lyrics on a well adjusted child may not be cataclysmic . . .
Senator Hollings: If I could find some way constitutionally to do away with it, I would.
Senator Trible: Rather the emotional damage . . .

Chairman: Thank you very much, Mr. Zappa. You understand that the, the, ah, previous witnesses were not asking for legislation. And I, I don't know, I can't speak for Senator Hollings, but I think that the prevailing view here is that nobody is asking for legislation. The question is just focusing on what a lot of people perceived to be a problem, and you have indicated that you at least understand that there is another point of view.

Senator Hollings: Willy nilly over the air
Senator Hollings: Willy nilly over the air
Senator Hollings: Willy nilly over the air

Chairman: Senator Gore.

Senator Gore: Thank you very much, Mr. Chairman. I found your statement very interesting and, ah, let me say although I disagree with some of the statements that you make and have made on other occasions, I have been a fan of your music, believe it or not. And I, I, ah, respect you as a true original and a tremendously talented musician.

Spider: Ooh, wait a minute!

Senator Hollings: Maybe I could make a good rock-star, I don't know
Rev. Jeff Ling: Come with . . . come with . . . come with daddy!
Senator Hollings: Maybe I could make a good rock-star, I don't know
Rev. Jeff Ling: Come with . . . come with daddy!
Senator Hollings: Maybe I could make a good rock-star, I don't know
Rev. Jeff Ling: Come with . . . come with . . . come with daddy!

Spider: They don't even understand their own music . . . of course nobody does, but . . .
John: They don't, they don't even know what they're doing
Spider: No!
John: I've, I've seen 'em a couple of times . . .
Spider: Did . . . did you see their uniforms?
John: Unbelievable!
Monica: Which ones? They, the red ones?
John: All those rhinestones over their rings and things like that
Monica: Do you know what I . . .
John: Gold lame hoof-covers . . . Unbelievable!

Senator Hollings: Maybe I could make a good rock-star
Senator Hollings: Maybe I could make a good rock-star
Rev. Jeff Ling: Gonna drive my love inside you
etc.
Senator Hollings: It's outrageous filth
Senator Hollings: It's outrageous filth
Rev. Jeff Ling: Come with daddy!
etc., etc.
Senator Hollings: Rock, rock, Porn Rock!
Senator Hollings: Rock porn
etc.
Senator Hollings: Willy nilly over the air

Senator Hollings: An' I think your suggestion is a good one. If you print those words, that would go a long way to satisfying everyone's objections, I . . .
FZ: All we have to do is find out how it is going to be paid for.

Pyromania
No questions
Burn the building!
Burn! Burn! Burn!
Johnny Guitar Watson: YEAH!
Senator Hollings: If I could find some way constitutionally to do away with it I would
Senator Hollings: Willy nilly over the air
Senator Hawkins: This issue is too hot not to cool down
Senator Hollings: So, I'll be looking from this Senator's standpoint, not just to bring pressures but to try to see if there is some constitutional provisions to tax, or approach that can be used on the Congress to limit this outrageous filth.
Johnny Guitar Watson: YEAH!

Thing-Fish:
We'll get back to de wimp and his low-budget conceptium of personal freedom in just a moment. But foist, welcome to: WHAT DE FUCK GWINE ON HERE? (A celebratium o' de American way o' life!) I see some o' y'all be FROWNIN' . . . 'cause mebbe y'think what I's tellin' ya' is a LIE! Am I right? Les' jes' have a test . . . How many o' you nice folks think I knows what I's talkin' 'bout? RAISE Y'HAIN UP! Uh-huh! An' how many thinks my potato been bakin' too long? RAISE YO MIZZABLE HAIN UP! Uh-huh! Now . . . how many you folks is CONVINCED de gubnint be totally 'UNCONCERNED' wit de proliferatium o' UNDESIRABLE TENANTS in de CONDOMINIUM o' LIFE? An' how many folks believe THEY number won't come up, next time de breeze blow fum de Easterly directium? Les' face it, peoples! Ugly as I mights be, I AM YO' FUTCHUM! Ain't that right, SISTER OB'DEWLLA? Hmm hmm! Oh, oh yeah! Thass right!

Chairman: Senator Gorton.
Senator Gorton: Mr. Zappa, I, ah, am astounded at the courtesy and soft-voiced nature of the comments of my friend, the Senator from Tennessee. I can only say that I found your statement to be boorish, ah, incredibly and insensitively insulting to the people that were here previously; that you could manage to give the first amendment of the Constitution of the United States a bad name, if I felt that you had the slightest understanding of it, which I do not. You do not have the slightest understanding of the difference between Government action and private action, and you have certainly destroyed any case you might otherwise have had with this Senator. Thank you, Mr. Chairman.
FZ: Is this private action?

Rev. Jeff Ling: Degradation. Humiliation. Thrusting, shoving. Animals humping.
Senator Hawkins?: There's no absolute right to free speech
FZ: I don't think this is constitutional . . .
Tipper Gore: A voluntary labeling is not censorship . . .
Rev. Jeff Ling: Bend up and smell my anal vapor
Tipper Gore: A voluntary . . . voluntary . . . voluntary . . .
Tipper Gore: A voluntary labeling is not censorship . . .

Rev. Jeff Ling: Degradation . . . humiliation . . .
Well . . .
Rev. Jeff Ling: Gonna drive my love inside of you
Well . . .
FZ: Is this private action?
Senator Hawkins: In chains . . .
Rev. Jeff Ling: Listen you little slut, do as you are told . . .
Senator Hawkins?: There's no absolute right . . .
Senator Hawkins?: There's no absolute right . . .
Well . . .
Well . . .
Rev. Jeff Ling: Dressed in leather bondage, masks . . .
Well . . .
Rev. Jeff Ling: Bend up and smell my anal vapor
There's no . . . There's no . . .

Chairman: Mr. Zappa, thank you very much for your testimony.
FZ: Thank you.
Chairman: Next witness is John Denver . . .
Senator Hollings?: We haven't got 'em whipped on this one yet. You got a bear by the tail here, uh? Jeezis!