"The Crab-Grass Baby" lyrics - FRANK ZAPPA
[FZ synclavier
Crab-Grass Baby:
Stroke me pompadour, pompaduooor, pompaduooor, pompaduooor. Stroke me pompadour, father. Stroke it nicely while I tell you about the problems I am having with my car an my girlfriend. Ooo-wo-woo, the white man's burden!
Her and her girlfriend used to go out and booze it up and tear up the upholstery; rip the seats completely out, and so I got a fifty-six Olds. About the time I got it running decently, she got in it and wrecked the trans . . . tore it completely up, so I had to get another Oldsmobile (either that or go to Tijuana or go to BROWN MOSES way down in Egypt-Land). It's so hard on a child when his car is fucked up. Buy me a Volvo, faaather.
Harry-As-A-Boy:
Isn't it terrific, artificial RHONDA!
Crab-Grass Baby:
One-Adam-Twelve . . . see the enormous white pompadour! Ha-Ha-ha-ho! That's a good one! Hoo-hoo-hoo.
Harry-As-A-Boy:
He's so young, and yet, SO WISE!
Crab-Grass Baby:
I pooped my pants, pooped my pants, pooped my pants! I went doody, faaather, sob-sob-sob-sob-sob.
Harry-As-A-Boy:
His vocabulary is astonishing!
Crab-Grass Baby:
So what if you suck a little cock every once in a while?
Harry-As-A-Boy:
Ohhh . . . I'm so lucky to have a son like this . . .
Crab-Grass Baby:
Barf me out . . . gag me with a Volvo!
Harry-As-A-Boy:
I can't wait to show him to all the fellas down at the MINE-SHAFT!
Crab-Grass Baby:
Take me to the movies. Buy me a balloon. Stroke me pompadour!
Harry-As-A-Boy:
Look! Look! Look at the pecker on him, wouldja! Goodjy-goodjy-goodjy-goo! Hoo hoo hoo!
Thing-Fish:
Dis boy have a 'PROVLEM'! However, how 'bout a nice round of applause fo de three 'WISE MAMMIES', comin' atcha outa chute numba five!
Thing-Fish (1984)
- Prologue
- The Mammy Nuns
- Harry & Rhonda
- Galoot Up-Date
- The 'Torchum' Never Stops
- That Evil Prince
- You Are What You Is
- Mudd Club
- The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing
- Clowns On Velvet
- Harry-As-A-Boy
- He's So Gay
- The Massive Improve'lence
- Artificial Rhonda
- The Crab-Grass Baby
- The White Boy Troubles
- No Not Now
- Briefcase Boogie
- Brown Moses
- Wistful Wit A Fist-Full
- Drop Dead
- Won Ton On