"The Majorca Song" lyrics - IVOR BIGGUN

Unos, dos, tres, Suzie Quatro

Every year when summer is here
I save up m' money and fly
To the land of the sun, f*rnication and fun
And never let a day go by

Buenos knockas por favor
As I sniff up the breezes
There's a whiff in the air
Of ambre solaire
And Julio Inglese-as
All day beneath the parasoles
I prat around on the beach
At night I'm p*ssed as ars'oles
And incapable of speech

But I'm going back to Majorca
Back to the prettiest girl that I've seen
I nearly went crackers
When she held my marracas
And they burst her tambourine
She was topless
I was legless
We boogie'd the moonlight away
Oh she swallowed my pina colada
Oh blimey, oh riley, o-le
I said she swallowed his pina colada
Oh blimey, oh riley, o-le

O-le, o-le, o-le, o-le,
O-le, o-le me down quick
A-ay a-ay, a-ay a-ay, a-ay a-ay, a-ay a-ay
I think I'm gonna be sick

"Ooh that's better out than in"

I don't go swimmin'
I just look at the women
As I stroll down by the ocean
They don't wear vests
Upon their chests
They just wear sun-tan lotion

Buenos knockas por favor
Una paloma blanca
I go to Spain
Get out of my brain
And act like a w*nker
I wear reflective sunglasses
To secretly stare at the tits
But I never drink the water
In case I get the sh*ts

I'm going back to Majorca
To get up to m' scr*tum in sin
There's lots of how's-yer-father
Down on the Costa Brava
And they blame it on jet-lag and gin
She was topless
I was legless
We boogie'd the moonlight away
Oh she swallowed my pina colada
Oh blimey, oh riley, o-le
I said she swallowed his pina colada
Oh blimey, oh riley, o-le

But when I get back to Worksop
And the sand runs out of my socks
I'll dream of that sweet senorita
Who gave me a dose of... la dolce vita
And a vinto on the rocks