"Winking Your Blues Away" lyrics - IVOR BIGGUN

All those lonely blues songs, you might feel that you wrote 'em
You might be sad and think that life has kicked you in the scr*tum
Be brave and wipe that teardrop from your eye
There's one more remedy you can try

W*nking your blues away
W*nking your blues away
If you haven't had a promise
And you haven't got a sister or a wife
And your brother's not keen
You can get to the promised land
The answer's right there in your hand
Try w*nking to the rhythm of life

It's a source of some amusement
That the craft of self-abusement
Was invented, so it's thought
By the Greeks and the Westphalians
Perfected by Australians
Developed by the Welsh into a competitive sport

W*nking your blues away
W*nking your blues away
Shirt on the floor
One hand and a metronome
And lots of boogie-woogie
The Cowman sits there on his farm
With loads of blisters on his arm
W*nking 'til the cows come home

It's time to take your trousers down
Lock the door and go to town
You can wipe away your frown and w*nk your blues away
Don't worry that you'll lose your sight
Make the world seem gay and bright
W*NKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE and w*nk your blues away

W*nking your blues away
W*nking your blues away
It's a harmless hobby, it's what your right arm's for
And not for drinking lager
The basic kit for m*sturbation
Is a pl*nker and a hand and imagination
Keep w*nking 'til you just can't w*nk no more
But don't forget to close the bathroom door