"Blacklist" lyrics - JOHN MORELAND

I started up the engine
And headed for the place we met
I prayed to Sister Juliette
Smoked three packs of cigarettes
I'm still trying to figure out forgiveness
And keep track of all of my sins
Just tell me you don't love me
And I'll promise I won't darken your doorstep again

This sure ain't how I thought that it would feel
To finally have made it
I've arrived alive in Danbury
Damn it's overrated
They put us back on the blacklist
Well, we never learned why needed saved
We took a ride trying to hide from the god
Of early marriage and empty graves

Last night New York City was heaven
Now I'm feeling low
And how many stones did we roll
Hoping hell would explode
We read all the right books
We sang songs we misunderstood
And with or without any reason
We did rebellion what justice we could

So I'm trying to think about home
And all that I miss
I swallowed my pride and I cried
'Cause we didn't exist
You said it's now or never
Well I never stop feeling that way
We get turned around, our spirits break down
We just lie and say we're okay

The older I get, you know
Truth, it gets harder to find
And famous false prophets
Get by off of robbing good men blind
Maybe I don't have it in me
Maybe it doesn't have me in it
And if I don't fly, that's fine
Just let me find a place where I fit