"Christina" lyrics - KEITH MURRAY

I'm always getting shitted on son, ain't gonna be no, no different
Can you accept me as I am? I ask you
Always, the love lords? I need you
Can you open your heart to mine and accept me and all my faults
During the human course activity, watch me give me my room
I am radiant, give me my space, I am light

Yo, 2/27/98 I wrote a check out
To H.W. funeral home for my little sister Christina
15 years old damn man this fuckin world is so cold
8 months before I had to do three years
Coming from the air port my face burning with tears
I had this black cloud hovering over me
Far back as I can check back down my family tree
Its been with me since my first LP
2nd LP I was sittin in court
3rd LP I was trapped in the belly of the beast, got it back to the streets
By the power of the mind and positive of light
Some say livin is death and dying is life
I say pray for me that I should be born tonight
I remember roaming the streets in those cold winter nights
Look at me this is my life

[Hook:]
Suddenly my life feels so alone, tell me what the hell is going on
Tell me, tell me, why my life feels so alone, so wrong
Tell me what the hell is going on
Help me, please help me

I can't even begin to explain the mental anguish
I went through as a child when I heard my pops had passed
I went to see him on the sick bed
With my grandmother, that day I knew it was the last
I loved him but I had to grow up without him
Over the years I've lived through frustrations and questions
In 90' I went to jail as an adolescent
Then in 92' my moms had to go back to the essence
Got me thinkin about the meaning of my existence (I lost my best friend)
I realised the devil was spying on my from a distance
He don't want me to receive my blessings he fear me
My family suffered more deaths then the Kennedy's
This is real and if you don't believe me ask someone that grew with me
Know them and feel my energy
Please never fabricated nor duplicated so I ask you
Can you open you hearts and minds and receive me with all my faults
Can you open your hearts and minds unconditionally to begin to understand my cause
Hey yo this world is a pool of sharks
But I'm the animal right when I stand up for myself and bark
And this year I gotta go all out for it
I've been hustlin for 13 years, nothin to show for it (I mean nothin)
Lookin over my bills damn they eaten me up
Entertainment task force watchin so what the fuck
I paid my taxes too fuck you and your uncle
The laws of nature will see me through
And yeah I peep it and naw it ain't no secret
How niggas give their word with no intentions to keep it
I'm givin you the roots of the real
My emotional feelings bi-polar is how I feel

[Hook]