"You Never Phone" lyrics - LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III

[Loudon:]
You never phone, you never write
Hey, I've stopped hoping that you might
You're trying to hurt my feelings, right?
You never phone and you never write

[Martha:]
You never write, you never phone
I'm sorry I gotta bitch and moan
I'm sorry I gotta pick this bone
You never write, you never phone

[Both:]
Sometimes I wonder
What you must think of me
My address and phone number
Must be misty in your memory

[Loudon:]
This year my birthday came and went
No call was made, no card was sent
But I got the snub you must have meant
This year my birthday came and went

[Martha:]
This year my birthday went and came
Last year what happened was the same
And your excuses sure are lame
This year my birthday went and came

[Loudon:]
Chicka-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa
[Martha:]
Chicka-wa-wa-wa-wa
[Loudon:]
Chicka-chicka-chicka-wa-wa-wa-wa Peter Frampton time!
[Both:]
Chicka-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wow

[Both:]
Sometimes I wonder
What you must think of me
Then I remember
It's you that you think of exclusively

[Loudon:]
I'm not gonna bow and scrape
[Martha:]
In every bunch there's one bad grape
[Loudon:]
I'm a little bit bent out of shape
But I'm not gonna bow and scrape

[Martha:]
I won't scrape or bow
[Loudon:]
Genuflect, beg or kowtow
[Martha:]
Just singing this song is fine for now
[Loudon:]
No, I'm not gonna scrape
[Both:]
Chicka-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wow