"Rudyard Kipling" lyrics - MONTY PYTHON

(Okay man, here we go, hold that, hold that for me baby, hold that now. Here we go. Here we go.)
Rudyard, Rudyard Kipling
Why do ya look so sad?
I know it's rather a silly name
But it's really not that bad

Rudyard, Rudyard.
Would you rather have been Willoughby? (Look at this guy, huh?)
Or Eustace, Keith or Ken? (Honey?) (My papa. You like poetry?) (Yeah, yeah, I like ...)
Dennis, Andrew, Tristram
Dudley, Lloyd or Ben (Get my hands around some poetry. Tits aren't that hot.)

Rudyard, Rudyard
I wish I knew (You wish you knew, honey, you wish you knew)
Were you happy being you?
Or would you rather have been Lou? (Come on baby) (Oh!)

Rudyard, Rudyard Kipling
Why do wear that frown?
You could have been called Cyril
And your surname could have been Brown.

Rudyard, Rudyard (Rudyard! Come on, let's go to the back of the truck honey, come on ...)
(Is this proper dress?)
I can't imagine The Jungle Book (Come on, back in the box, all right)
By Ronnie, or by Vic (This is very nice)
Or Kim, or Papkoo Bookins-Hill, by Cindy Lou, (Raoul Duke,) or Mick (honey, you ever seen one like this?)
Rudyard, it had to be (my other one's in the shop)
Rudyard, it was (Some what?)
Rudyard, I wish I knew (It's you honey, got your number here, come on)
Did it really make you cross?
(Not there)
(Who's this guy?)

Rudyard, Rudyard Kipling (Yes, he's rather lovely)
Why do wear that frown? (A bit left of center, his name's Ted)
You could have been called Cyril (He's a guy)
And your surname could be Brown.
(Oh no, please, oh no, please ...)
Rudyard (oh! ha! hoo!) Rudyaaaaaaaaard....oooooh (ooooh! oooh! Oooh!)
(Aw, come on honey, there could be sandwiches in there!)