"The Fat Man" lyrics - PAUL HEATON

The train's running late
But the bills are on time
Greggs and Social
There's a permanent line
You all blaming the fat man
You all think that it's him
Rather go McDonalds or Burger King
Than go to the gym

Every toffee wrapper
That's dropped in the street
Seems to gravitate
To the soles of your feet
Every time you return
From your Saturday shop
Your neighbours eyes burn
Through the bags that you've got

Rich in Armani
Poor in velour
Every takeaway's
A wide open door
Nicotine chewing gum
E-cigarettes
The harder you try
The fatter you gets

The betting shop's open
The grocery's shut
Every time you eat
There's an almighty tut
Y'all think it's the fat man
Y'all think that it's he
You all think he carries
A loyalty card for KFC

Whenever they show the obese
On the 6 o'clock news
They only ever show the waistline
Down to the shoes
No face on the fat man
Just a wobbling mass
Dead man walking all the way
From the brain to the ass

So as the fat man he sits
Staring into thin air
He'd choose the noose
But he's broken the chair
He'd take a cruise
Throw himself off the boat
He can't swim
But he'd probably float