"Lifeboats" lyrics - SENSES FAIL

I just want to feel alive
And love myself from the in and the outside
'Cause every time that I start to feel whole
I knock myself on the ground because it's all that I've known
Just like the streets burn a hole through your shoe
My soul has been worn out too
I'm 25 and I still don't fit in
Directionless like a blind man painting

[Chorus:]
Mother I'm so sorry, I can't go on like this
The lifeboats are leaving with or without me
What's the point of falling in love?
If I don't love myself
What's the point of being alive if all I want is out

So I thought that it only feels right
To make the decisions that endanger my life
Late late at night under black and blue moons
I question the reasons that I self-abuse

I'm so pathetic
It makes me sick
I'm a fingerless pianist
I see reflections
I clench my fists
I'm a violin without the strings

[Chorus:]
Mother I'm so sorry, I can't go on like this
The lifeboats are leaving with or without me
What's the point of falling in love?
If I don't love myself
What's the point of being alive if all I want is out

There is no love
There's only this
Just lust and lies, and selfishness
A black hole where the sun once was
I'm never falling back in love
'Cause it has never been enough

Ever since I've been a young boy I was alone
Now that I've become a man, the feeling's grown
Through the therapy and through the pills, I can't let go
But what about the fucking fact
I'm still alone

What do you do when you got nothing left?
Give up! Give up! And hope for the best!
I fell into the ocean, I and I feel sick
Waiting on a nameless rescue ship

What do you do when you got nothing left?
Give up! Give up! And hope for the best!
I fell into the ocean, I and I feel sick
Waiting on a nameless rescue ship

[Chorus:]
Mother I'm so sorry, I can't go on like this
The lifeboats are leaving with or without me
What's the point of falling in love?
If I don't love myself
What's the point of being alive if all I want is out