"Esther" lyrics - THE HOLD STEADY

In the middle of a mission I met Esther in the kitchen
Drinking something blue it looked like Windex
She could shake but couldn't really sing
Sharpened like a feral thing
Helped me with my part when I lost interest

She said her name was Esther I said baby that sounds biblical
Ain't she the one that came up after Vashti?
Yeah and then some other stuff
At some point there I fell in love
Then she heard a song she liked and lost me

The party ended suddenly, suddenly it's over
That left me an Esther all alone and getting older
All alone and getting older smoking in the street
Now everything is Esther and it's been that way all week

The times that we were powerless were times that I remember best
When it first came on it felt just like a blanket
Once we had a little bit we pretty much just wasted it
Traded in our tickets for drinks and little trinkets

The scene back in the city was the opposite of freedom
We were always so damn broke it was this whole dependent fallacy
They started shooting so the songs of the future
Esther always wants it how it used to be

Songs all ran together and the kids ran outta liquor
That's when me and Esther started staring at each other
Started staring at each other feeling pretty sweet
Now everything is Esther it's been that way all week

The parties fall to pieces the endings are so heavy
Feels like no one's watching when we're this deep in the valley
When we're this deep in the valley you can see so many stars
When Esther told her story we were sitting in the car

She said her folks were never close
They had me 'cause they had to
No one named me Esther
That came up a little later
It was after some detective
Came around here with some questions
I went out to Colorado
Was mostly in the motels
Started living pretty reckless
Started calling myself Esther
I just felt like someone different

Felt like someone different and I never could forgive
All the movies in our heads about the lives we wanna live
The lives we wanna live are all free of pain and fear
Now Esther's getting cigarettes and me I'm buying beer

Felt like someone different felt like someone else
She almost died in Denver, she did it to herself
She did it herself, there's only her to blame
Of course I call her Esther I don't know her other name

She's never going home her folks were never close
We mostly watch the TV crack the windows when we smoke
Her aura is amazing her room is kind of bleak
I met Esther at a party got together for a week