"Two-Handed Handshake" lyrics - THE HOLD STEADY

His two handed handshake
Says he's so glad to meet you
His one silver earring
Says he parties on weekends

He churns through the channels
When he's watching the TV
He recites lines from movies
When he's trying to be funny

Guys, it's like we're not even trying

Yeah, she danced with that one guy
She must know we're watching
It seems like less people
Than were here just last weekend

She's still pretty pissed
About her ex's new trick
There were stares
And glares and names

Girls, you know you're not really helping

I don't think that you'll find love
In some bathroom at some club
I know some kids who didn't come back

We had First Ave on Fridays
We're pirates at port
We go in and we get high
Two at a time
We get drunk on the sports

We're falling into bed
With our television sets
We're watching movies
That we've already seen

Guys, it's like we're not even trying

You dress like contestants
At some desparate paegent
You fall asleep in your makeup
You wake up with a blemish

You're making up your mind
About the drinks after work
It's such a gossipy office

Girls, you're gonna find someone

You don't have to rush it
You're too young to force your crushes
You don't have to rush it
You're too young to fake your crushes

Guys, I'm pretty sure that we can put it back together
And girls, you gotta try to be nice to one another

Guys, I'm pretty sure that we can put it back together
And girls, you gotta try to be nice to one another

I don't think we'll get the truth
From kids with stickers on their boots
I know some kids who didn't come back
From the plywood painted black

We gotta try a little harder
We gotta be a little better
We gotta pull it back together