"Daddy, Where Did I Come From?" lyrics - THE NICE

So I wonder why when the pie in the sky,
Gets green at the edge, jumps a senile hedge
And asks questions.

So I asked my ma, and she said ask your pa.
And he said ask your ma, and wonders why his kids ask questions.
So you fill me up with the gooseberry bush, and tales of the stork,
And you tell me to hush when I ask questions.

[Synthesized:]
Daddy, where do I come from?

[Spoken, man:]
Well son, you rather caught your old dad on the hop.
I suppose the birds and the bees they won't do, no, no they won't do.
Think of flowers, the flower carrying the seed, yeah that's mommy.
Mommy the flower, and your daddy sort of fornicates the flower.
No, no, pollinates, fornicates, pollinates.
No son, you didn't just grow in the garden.
No, daddy didn't pick you.
No, you stayed with the flower.
And you sort of grew and grew and grew, and suddenly you're you.
That won't do son? No, uh, well, it's the best I can do.

[Spoken, boy:]
No daddy, the fertilization occurs when the male seeds reach the female egg.

You're drunk, you're drunk.

With your back teeth floating in a gallon of booze.
You can't even work out how to fasten your shoes.
You get yourself into such a state.
You're found drunk in charge of a roller skate.
It's no small wonder that you can't even answer questions.