"Is This Thing On?" lyrics - TODD SNIDER
[Intro:]
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?
[Chorus:]
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?
In the hallway of a high school
Anywhere, USA
There was a bully pickin' on a different kid
It seemed like every day
A pack of back-slapping buddies
Laughing, backing him all the way
A screaming girlfriend
Makin' believe in everything he'd say
[Chorus:]
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?
And then one day some kid
That he'd beat up a couple times before
Realized, to even his surprise
That he probably could indeed take more
And with that he hatched the evil plan
To make that devil pay
He walked up to him, in the middle of the gym
Found the nerve to say
"You gonna hit somebody, today?
"You're gonna hit me, too
"In fact, you're gonna hit me every day
"'Cause now I'm picking on you
"And as crazy as that might sound right now
"I'm ain't stopping until I'm through
"It's too late to beg for mercy
"And now there's nothing you can do"
[Chorus:]
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?
Well, that bully just laughed and laughed, of course
And so did all of his friends
And he beat that kid unmercifully
For days and days on end
Only less and less impressively
To that girl and all of his friends
Who would eventually, secretly
Start hoping the kid might win
[Chorus:]
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?
Monday, they rolled around in dirt
Tuesday, they rolled in grass
Wednesday, they actually both got hurt
Throwing each other to class
Thursday, the mailing was out by the dumpster
Friday, at study hall
Day in and out, year after year
Without ever lettin' up at all
[Chorus:]
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?
Is this thing working?
Is this thing on?
And now you'll never hear him say this
'Cause he thinks people still don't know
But winning the battle every day
Cost our bully the war a long time ago
And of all the scars he's got to show
For every blow that kid sneaks in
The worst one's knowing
That tomorrow he's going
To have to get up and fight that kid again
