"Crazy ABC's" lyrics - BARENAKED LADIES

BARENAKED LADIES
"Crazy ABC's"

Hey Steve!
Hey Ed, that sounds nice, what is it?
Thank you, it's an alphabet song I'm working on
Oh great, a whole new alphabet,
I just learned the old one.

A is for aisle
B is for bdelliums
C is for czar
And if you see him, would you mind telling him-

Okay, hang on a second, yeah aisle?
Yeah, aisle like a, like a theatre.
All right, okay, and bdelliums?
Bdelliums, it's a gum like tree resin, it starts with a silent "B"
And then czar?
Yeah, it's uh- like a Russian czar.
You know, everyone knows apple ball and cat,
I wanted to get into some you know,
Some stranger words.
Right, I see what you're doing.

D is for djinn
E for Euphrates
F is for fohn, but not like when I call the ladies

I thought phone started with a "P"... like a "Ph"
No its f-o-h-n, it's a kind of wind
Yeah, I know what you mean by wind

G for Gnarly,
I for irk
H is for hour
J for jalapenos
Good in either corn or flour (tortillas)
Nice rhyme
K is for knick-knack
L is for llama

Pramma, llama, ding - what's so strange about llama?
Llama, its starts with two L's
What's the second one for?
No idea.
I know, loser.

M for mnemonic
N is for Ndombolo
O is for ouija board
P for pneumonia pterodactyl and psychosis
Q is for qat

Okay, Q - qat? What?
Yeah it's uh... q-a-t,
It's an evergreen shrub
It's a perfect scrabble word because it's a q with no u,
There's not many of those
You have too much time on your hands.

R is for R-gyle
No, it isn't

Okay, you're right; I couldn't find a good "R" word

S is for Saar, a lovely German river
T for tsunami, a wave that makes me quiver
U is for urn, but not like earning money
V for vraisemblance from French,
And therefore kind of funny
W for wren, wrinkly, and who.
X is for Xian, an ancient Chinese city, true!

Ancient Chinese city, huh?
My guitar player, some hotshot.

Y is for yperite, a very nasty gas.
And zed's the final letter
And by final, I mean last.

Okay, when you say zed,
For the benefit of our American friends
You really mean Z, right?
No I mean Zed, like, like Zed Zed Top.
Zed Zed Top?
Yeah, you know the guys with the big long beards
Well, except the guy whose name is Beard,
He has a mustache
I always thought that was interesting
You done with the alphabet?
No extra letters I haven't heard of?
I think so.
Well this was a great help, I think, you know,
The contribution you made to world literacy
Well, I'm just saying, kids
I'm just saying
Think outside the box a little bit
Box with an "R"
Yeah, well, no, box with a b-a-l-k-s, like a pitcher.
Ah, as opposed to b-a-c-h-s,
Right, think outside the box
Get into some Rachmaninow
That's Rachmaninoff with a "W"