"Bo' Fo' Sho'" lyrics - BO BURNHAM

"Bo' Fo' Sho'"


Walking my poodles, man it never gets old
When my dog's on the leash I got bitches on the hold
A first A.I.D.S. kit? That's a rhesus monkey
I bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable
Got more lines than Whitney Houston's coffee table
I get more head than grammar school lice
I'm like a walking glacier, I'm so decked out with ice
Did you poop a virgin, 'cause that shit is tight
Jack ain't Black and Barry ain't White

I do drugs in the bedroom
Lie on your back
'Cause I gots the pipe and you gots the crack
And though I'm sexually straight, you're bound to find
I'm mentally gay, 'cause I'll blow your mind
The parents be snickering, "He shouldn't have written it,"
But I'm constipated-couldn't give a shit

My name is Bo, fo sho, a born Bostonian
Aryan librarian and the wordsmith-sonian
The rap is scattered, it has its ingenuity
I gave it this little part to give it continuity

[Brief instrumental interlude]

And the fellas say, "Hey moron, pass the gin,"
'Cause I'm an oxymoron breathing oxygen
Give me the bottle, I'll chug two thirds
'Cause you bitches know fractions speak louder than words

And the ladies say, "Hey fellas, I'm keeping it tight
And if you play your cards right, you can have me tonight
Should I blow you or beat you, brass or percussion
Oh stop, period, end of discussion


[Brief instrumental interlude]

Walking through the garden with food at my feet
Picked up the celery but dropped the beet

And then I picked it up



We're in the hood, I'll take what you give me
Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively
A smart queen's kingdom? It doesn't mix
Illiterate literates, a bunch of Moby Dicks
Get thee to a punnery, oh just a feel yah
Take you with a condom, stainless steel yah
Half a pound of turkey breast, half a pound of chicken tits
Why are only crackers staying at the Ritz?
Poverty, racism, isn't it strange? Only the homeless are begging for change
A shocked Sherlock. What, son? Rosa Parks didn't call shotgun
Here's a bit of irony: a Ford Focus driver's got A.D.D
How'd I come to master all of these things?
Like a tampon thief, I had to pull some strings
I had to pull some strings!

That's a rap!