"What Kind Of Girl?" lyrics - FRANK ZAPPA

[Fillmore East, June 1971]

[includes quotes from The Untouchables (Riddle), The Battle Hymn Of The Republic (Steffe/Howe) and Strawberry Fields Forever (Lennon/McCartney)]

[Frauenthal Auditorium, Muskegon, Michigan
March 1, 1988
&
Auditorium Theatre, Chicago
March 4, 1988]

What's a girl like you
Doin' in a Motel like this?

"I left my place after midnight,
When I first got the call . . .
The escort service I work for
Said you wanted it ALL!"

Well, you came to the right place - this is it!
I got the most sanctified johnson in all Louisiana!
No shit!

"How true that is!"

How true, indeed, Llama!

"The other whores at the service said
You helped fulfill their need!
I like to get right down . . .
Do you like to get right down too?"

Well, what did you have in mind?

"Well, I get off being spoo-ed upon
By hypocritical TV preachers
With close ties to the Republican Party,
While Ed Meese wipes his ass
On the U.S. Constitution, screamin' . . .

That is I think I know tune in
But it's all wrong
That is I think I disagree

'I don't think so -
I can't remember -
I just couldn't ever do that -'"

Gets me so hot I could scream:
'I don't think so: can't remember who . . .
Wrote the memo, or to whom it's to . . . '

Hey, your escort service has always been far-out 'n groovy -
Ever been to the Texas Motel?
Let me take you dow-how-how-how-how-how-hownnnnn!

Magic Jesus by the bed,
Wall mounted TV screen,
My church plugged into the gravy train,
And Reagan keeps me clean!

What kind of girl?
What kind of girl would suck his rod?
What kind of girl?
What kind of girl would suck his rod?
(A lazy prostitute!)
We wouldn't blow you just because you know "GOD"!
What kind of girl?
What kind of girl would suck his rod?

This unfortunate little vixen wouldn't let just ANYBODY
Spoo all over her lap -
She wants an ignorant Cracker TV Evangelist
Who's reciting all that crap . . .