"Mario & Link (Original)" lyrics - HOBO JOHNSON

[Intro:]
Oh no, not another one
You're completely ready and prepared for this, yuh

Mario's never getting none and Link's never getting some
So why would princesses love me, man?
I'm not really making moves I'm just kinda breathing
I work at fucking pizza places just so I keep eating
That's the type of shit
To make me go and smoke a fucking pack of smokes a day
That's the type of shit to make me ask my father "You okay?"
That's the type of shit to make be buy a flask for 25
And fill it up with taaka vodka only 4.99
That's the type of shit to make me write a song and fucking pray
That this one is better than the one that I wrote yesterday
Or yester-year yes-sir-please let me get the recipe, to not being broke
Boy, I'd really love to be a king but Mario and Link
Should've showed that perseverance is not the end all to everything
The princess in the hallway in a robe
And I asked "do you like coffee and scones and she says "No!"
But I just killed a fucking dragon though!
With this sword that I made from the words of my soul
I just killed a fucking dragon though, I just killed a fucking dragon though
But it's whatever, I don't even fucking care