"Paperback Bible" lyrics - LAMBCHOP

I'd like to buy a good
Used paperbacked living bible
And I've got some things
That I'd like to put on out there
Like a pony cart and an old bird bath
A kitchen sink and a rocking chair
You can turn me on
Almost any day at noon

Hey I'd like to put on
A four month old rat terrier pup
I think he's a male
And he's marked up pretty and
Everything
This woman's got some goats
But his feets never been on the ground
You can just buy one
Or you can have the whole herd

Yeah I'd like to find
A twenty seven inch color TV
Has to be non working
An RCA 'cause I need the parts
And daily there's an old drive shaft
And the same Berkeline recliner
It's green and it's cloth
And it's been used very little

Then there's a Reba designs
Size eight, prom pageant dress
It's icy blue
With sequins worn just once
There are others that are strapless
But this one's slit above the knee
If you're looking for
Something perfect for that student

I have always thought
That hand guns were made for shooting people
Rather than for sport
Why not use a rifle in most other applications
You might find a rifle or a musket
But you'll never hear a pistol
There may always be
Someone looking for or finding some

Guess I'd like to sell
A good used paperback living bible