"Detroit" lyrics - DAVE CHAPPELLE

This went on for a long time. And then, after the show, I felt so bad, I took half of the money from the show- thousands of dollars- I said, "I'm gonna give this to charity." You know what I did? I bought $25,000 worth of bubble gum and drove around Detroit and handed it out to the homeless so they could chew it and still be hungry. I was very mad at Detroit that night. Because not only did I bomb, I had to go back to the very same room the next night and do it all over again. Fucking nightmare.
That would be like if you were having sex with a woman and, for some reason- this would never happen- but for some reason, she had a mousetrap in her pussy. You get caught in the trap. And then you've got to fuck her again tomorrow night. I'd still do it, but I'd be careful the next time. The old mousetrap-in-the-pussy trick, eh? Fool me once. Yeah. Yeah, it was a tough time. And I wanted to give up sometimes. I almost did give up, but then, right before I gave up, I decided not to. But I made the call. They answered the phone. "Hello? Dancing with the Stars." I said, "Not yet. Not yet." Yeah. If you see me on that shit, it's over. Trust me. My spirit is broken. If you see me waiting for them judges... getting critiqued on my cha-cha, fuck that.