"First World Problems" lyrics - WEIRD AL YANKOVIC

[Style parody of Pixies]

My maid is cleaning the bathroom, so I can't take a shower
When I do, the water starts getting cold after an hour
I couldn't order off the breakfast menu 'cause I slept in till two
Then I filled up on bread, didn't leave any room for tiramisu
Oh no, there's a pixel out in the corner of my laptop screen
I don't have any bills in my wallet small enough for the vending machine
Some idiot just called me up on the phone... what??
Don't they know how to text? OMG! I've got...

First world, first world problems
First world, first world problems
First world, first world problems

I bought too many groceries for my refrigerator
Forgot my gardener's name... I'll have to ask him later
Tried to fast-forward commercials... can't, I'm watching live TV
I'm pretty sure the cookies in this airport lounge ain't gluten-free
My barista didn't even bother
To make a design in the foam on the top of my vanilla latte

First world, first world problems
First world, first world problems
First world, first world problems

Can't remember which car I drove to the mall
My Sonicare won't recharge
Now I gotta brush my teeth like a Neanderthal

The thread count in these cotton sheets has got me itchin'
My house is so big, I can't get Wi-Fi in the kitchen
Ugh... I had to buy something I didn't even need
Just so I could qualify for free shipping on Amazon

First world, first world problems
First world, first world problems
First world, first world problems
First world, first world problems
First world, first world problems
First world, first world problems