I saw a gorgeous... dick. I was in the public restroom. Some guys might be like me. I cannot use a urinal when there's a guy beside me. I freeze up. So I have to use the stalls. In this case, all the stalls were taken. I had to use a urinal. There was a guy beside me. I took a little look. You're not picturing this. All right.
[Dramatic music playing]
The bit is over. I'm not talking into his dick now. I didn't rip off his dick. And I'm now not talking into a severed dick. The show is a series of discrete bits. That one's over. God, if you don't get that...
[Hits random piano notes and blows raspberry]
Reset the momentum, I cannot be coasting on the inertia of past jokes.
[Begins playing "Lower Your Expectations"]
I need to earn it. Every bit of it should come out of a vacuum, eh?
- Intro / Hell Yeah
- I Love You / Masturbation
- Straight White Male
- White People / Hey Bo, Guess What?
- I'm A Little Teapot / Improv Song
- Country Song
- Celebrity Lip Syncing
- Gorgeous Dick
- (If You Want Love) Lower Your Expectations
- War! / Alabama
- Making A Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich
- Continuity Errors / Flaming Hot Cheetos / Entertainers
- Kill Yourself
- Do Not Objectify Me
- Break Up Song
- Make Happy Speech
- Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant)
- Are You Happy?