"Standards And Practices" lyrics - DAVE CHAPPELLE

And remember, this was 15 years ago. I made a mistake. I didn't even know I'd done anything wrong. I had written a sketch... that had the word... "f a g g o t" in it. So I had to go to Standards and Practices. They call me up. I don't know why they're calling me, but I like the lady that runs the department. She's usually really fair and was one of my favorite people I've ever worked with. So she sits me down. We have a nice conversation. She tells me, "Oh, the sketches are great." I go, "Oh, fantastic. Well, then... well, then, why am I here?" She said, "Because, David, there's no way... that you can ever say the word... "f a g g o t" on our network.
I didn't know I did anything wrong. I didn't try to defend myself. I said, "All right. Fuck it, I'll take it out. Have a good afternoon." And as I was leaving, it occurred to me. "Hey. Hey, Renee, quick question. It's just a question. Seriously, I wanna know. Like, wh-why is it... why is it that... that I can say the word "n I g g e r" with impunity......but I can't say the word "f a g g o t"?" And she said, "Because, David, you are not gay." I said, "Well, Renee... I'm not a n I g g e r either."