"My Barber Is Bald" lyrics - BO BURNHAM

My barber is bald, my trainer is fat,
My sponsor is drunken and lazy.
My optometrist is as blind as a bat
And my shrink is batshit crazy.

When you look at who is helping me,
You'll know the reason why
I've remained a bald, fat, drunken, lazy, blind,
And crazy guy.