"Celebrity" lyrics - DAVE CHAPPELLE

Fuck, I need an alibi. I can't be no celebrity. This shit is just the worst. I'm seeing it.

I can see why - I see why stars are crazy, man, these motherfuckers... I went to Disney World with my kids, which is a 'big deal' for me. I don't get to see my kids so much. I do "Chappelle's Show" 20 hours a day. Sleep for, like, half an hour. Raise my kids for 10, 20 minutes and then I go back to work. Now this *particular* day I got to hook up with the kids. We went to Disney World. Everybody at the park, fucking everybody! -

"Hey, HEEEEY!...I'm RICK JAMES, bitch! Hey, I'm Rick James, biiiiitch."

It was like, "Hey, man, hey, you mind not calling me a bitch in front of my kids? Time out, motherfucker, we take a day off." Even Mickey Mouse did it. I said, "This is the most UN-professional shit I have EVER seen in my LIFE."

"I'm Rick JAMES, bitch. HUH-HAH."

Oh, I was FED up. I caught that motherfucker with an uppercut - PAAA. Knocked his head clean off. Everybody was screaming.

"Oh, my God, oh, my God!...Mickey Mouse is MEXICAN."

I had a terrible time in Disney World. Disney World's like a whole 'nother country anyway. They got their own currency. That shit's ridiculous. Soon as I check in the hotels -

"Welcome to Disney World, Mr. Chappelle. Can we interest you in some Disney dollars?"
"No, man, I'm cool. Can't buy weed and pussy with Disney dollars, nigga. I'm on vacation."