"Locking Our Stars Up" lyrics - DAVE CHAPPELLE

To be honest, this is the worst time in history to be a black celebrity. Fuck. They're locking up all our stars up. It's hot right now for black celebrities. I knew it was bad when Kobe got in trouble. I said, "This is a wrap for us." He's one of the most wholesome dudes we've had! And they lock him up and everything.

And Kobe kept it together. Thank God he held his game together, because if he was cracking under pressure and getting like, six points a game the whole of L.A. would be like, -

"THAT Nigger is GUILTYYYY."

- Kobe was playing his ass off. He was playing like his freedom depended on that shit. You see this motherfucker in them games this nigga's trying to beat that case on the COURT.

Like the judge threw him the ball, like, -

"Play for your freedom."

- If I could talk to Kobe, I'd say be -

"Just relax, you'll be fine, man."

- Because the public is still giving Kobe the benefit of the doubt. He's one of the few black celebrities that get that.

Not 'cause he's a celebrity, more because... the girl showed up with eight different semens to the investigation. You can't do that. That's *seven too many.* That's a lot of semen, man.

This bitch's got Noah's Ark in her panties.
What's she trying, to recreate humanity or something?! She's a collector!

She got every unsolved mystery; the answer might be in this girl's panties. That's the first place I'd look. OJ's other glove is in there. Bigfoot's footprint. Three CSI reruns is in that motherfucker.

She's got the most diabolical drawers ever.

Fuck being a celebrity. This is not the time to be a black star. They're locking all our STARS up! Black celebrities. It's a witch hunt for us, man. Goddamn it.

It's all OJ's fault.

Ever since OJ got away, white people just been locking up our stars, one by one. It's true. And it's all - it's not even OJ's fault, it's our fault. We celebrated *too openly* when OJ got acquitted. We should've been quiet about that shit. Soon as there's, "Not guilty," niggas start DANCIN'. -

"OH, in your face! In your face. It hurts, don't it? It hurts. BURNS, doesn't it? Oh, that justice system burns, doesn't it? Welcome to MY WORLD, motherfucker..."

- and all *that* shit. White people wanted OJ's ass BAD. The city of L.A. spent over $12 million just *trying* that motherfucker; and the *look* on white people's face when he was *acquitted?!*

Priceless.

Priceless - and that's why I don't trip over being a celebrity. I don't like it. I don't trust it.